The Clans in our Modern World
by darkfur1
Summary: A variety of situations involving the Clans in our modern world, also a look at their e-mail/text/Facebook activity...
1. Chapter 1

**THUNDERCLAN IN OUR MODERN WORLD CHAPTER ONE**

**Day One**

**A/N: **

**Author: Hi everyone, this is my first Fanfiction story so I'm sorry if something goes wrong such as all the chapters are bunched into one or something. Also, for American readers, I am British so I use British English. I'm sure you're not stupid so I won't go through the spellings with you but just in case you get confused, in this story and possibly any other stories that I might put on here in future, the word 'chips' refers to what you would call 'fries', the word 'crisps' refers to what you would call 'chips' and the word 'rubbish' when used as a noun refers to what you would call 'trash' or 'garbage'. **

**Hollyleaf: *comes in***

**Hollyleaf: *Tells everyone that she is here on Facebook***

**Hollyleaf: LOOOOOVVVV VVE!**

**Author: Hollyleaf you are only here because I can't be bothered to read the disclaimer myself. You are NOT here to start shouting and you are NOT….. Hollyleaf can I see what you have just put on Facebook?**

**Author: *reads Hollyleaf's Facebook status* Oh, Hollyleaf… RAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!*crying***

**ThunderClan/WindClan/ShadowClan/RiverClan: *come in***

**Hollyleaf: Heey everyone! LOOOOOOVVVVVVVE! PEEEEEAAAACE! ICE CREEEAAAAM!**

**Firestar: Hey author! We came to liven up your note a little bit! Can I read the disclaimer?**

**Author: No!**

**F: Please?**

**A: No!**

**F: Please?**

**A: No!**

**F: Please!**

**A: No!**

**F: Pretty please?**

**A: For the last time NO!**

**F: Pretty pretty please with cherries on top?**

**A: Alright Firestar you can read the disclaimer for God's sake!**

**H: Nuuuu! Wanna read the disclaimer!**

**H/F: *Fighting***

**A: RIGHT THAT IS ENOUGH! ALL OF YOU! OUT!**

**Clan cats except Crowfeather: *leave***

**Crowfeather: Wow geez stressy man!**

**A: CROWFEATHER! OUT! NOW!**

**C: *leaves***

**A: _I_ will now read the disclaimer. I do not own Warriors and/or any other brands which may be mentioned and/or alluded to in this story. Chapter!**

CHAPTER 1

Hollyleaf was, like, so upset. I mean, it is, like, so totally out of order. Firestar had actually stopped her from spraying little hearts all over the side of his den, I mean, like, dude, that is just so totally, like OUT – OF – ORDERR! Duh! She was so unhappy that she decided to go and spend the rest of the day having retail therapy in London.

8 HOURS LATER:

Hollyleaf was, like so tired. She was still in London, even though it was now 10 o' clock and Lionblaze and several other of her Clanmates kept texting her saying 'Where r u?'. That was, like, so out of order. She now had to, like, text them ALL back. OMG. I mean, she was going to have to waste, like, twen – 'OMG! OMG!' said Hollyleaf in shock. She nearly fainted. She had just seen a pair of Gucci shoes for only £54.96! She was so shocked that she came over really funny and she was, like, really dizzy. She HAD TO HAVE THOSE SHOES! She rushed into the shop, knocking over 3 Twolegs in the process.

20 MINUTES LATER:

Hollyleaf was on the train. It was 10:30 and she was like, so happy. She could not believe that she now had some of the most fashionable clothes on the planet and she had only spent £1, 056.99! Suddenly, she felt her eyelids closing and her head started to slip down the side of the neighbouring seat. The sights and sounds of the train disappeared and she saw Bluestar and Spottedleaf coming towards her. "Hollyleaf, Hollyleaf, what have you done?" said Bluestar. Spottedleaf said "You have done a great evil to your Clan. Do you know how much prey you could have caught while you were in London? How many border patrols you could have gone on? How many cats could have been fed that have gone to their nests hungry? But no. You went to London. You spent all your time fussing ove cl – OMG! OMG! Oh my God! It's Gucci!" Spottedleaf was pointing at one of Hollyleaf's new shoes. Bluestar said " Please, oh Hollyleaf, PLEASE can I TOUCH one of your shoes? PLEASE?" Bluestar started crying. Hollyleaf looked at her as if she had just come down from the planet Mars. "No you freak you cannot touch my shoes! Ugh! Aaagh! Get away from me otherwise I'll catch weirdoitis! Or whatever it is that you have! OH MY GOD! FREAK ALERT EVERYONE FREAK ALERT!" said Hollyleaf. Bluestar started chasing her.

All of a sudden Hollyleaf was back on the train, which was just about to leave from her stop. It was now one o'clock in the morning. Hollyleaf became hysterical and started running as fast as she could with the 87 shopping bags that she was carrying. She screamed " NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! PLEASE! DON'T GO! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS TO ME! ! The train driver heard Hollyleaf and fortunately she was able to get off before the train left. However Firestar was not happy when Hollyleaf got back to ThunderClan.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN HOLLYLEAF?" he yowled at her. "GONE FOR 12 AND A HALF HOURS…. EVERYONE REALLY WORRIED… SENT OUT 17 SEARCH PARTIES….. !

Hollyleaf said "Well I was, like, in London…."

Firestar said "Oh God how much did you spend?" Hollyleaf said "₤1056.99"...


	2. Chapter 2

**Hollyleaf: ! Hic! Wa ha ha haa! Hic! I want beeeerrrr!**

**A: I'm sorry Hollyleaf, but I don't have any beer so would you now please GO AWAY?**

**H: I - WANT - BEER!**

**A: I DON'T HAVE BEER!**

**H: F*** YOU!**

**A: HOLLYLEAF! HOW DARE YOU SWEAR IN HERE! GET OUT NOW! THIS IS MEANT TO BE RATED K FOR GOD'S SAKE! **

**H: NO! I WILL NOT GET OUT! I – WANT – BEER!**

**A: *throws Hollyleaf out the window***

**A: Thank God she's gone. Now, the usual disclaimer applies so welcome to chapter 2! Chapter!**

Brambleclaw was feeling soooo cool. He had just had 37 pints of beer –

**H: Beeeeeeerrrrrrrr!**

and he was completely drunk. He was currently wearing Mousefur's pink handbag on his head and was junmping around the ThunderClan camp going "I'm a little plastic bag!" Squirrelflight saw Brambleclaw and said "Brambleclaw, what the HELL are you doing?" He replied " I'm being cool, unlike your mother." Squirrelflight became furious and hit him over the head with her new Louis Vuitton handbag, bought in the January sales, knocking Brambleclaw out. She reluctantly started dragging Brambleclaw across the camp to Jayfeather's den. "Jayfeather!" she called. No response. "Jayfeather!". No response. "JAYFEATHER! MOVE YOUR LAZY BUTT OUT HERE RIGHT NOW YOU LITTLE UNRESPONSIVE IDIOT!" she yowled into the medicine den. Jayfeather came outside and yowled at her. "WHADDYOUWANT? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY YOU NOSY LITTLE BRAT?" "Jayfeather, I actually have a patient for you, if you would care to look." "Oh no not another passed-out one! Make a nest for him and be QUICK about it, if you know what quick means." Squirrelflight quickly made a nest next to Firestar, who had passed out on hearing how much Hollyleaf had spent when she had gone to London the previous day. She then had to listen to a long lecture by Jayfeather on what time to call on people and what time not to call on people.

Jayfeather was feeling like trash. He had not had any sleep in 2 days and, deep within his heart, he wished that alcohol and London had never been invented….

**A: Yes! Two chapters in one day. That's all you're getting from me today, guys, but I will be back here updating tomorrow… I think**

**J: I – HATE – MY – LIIIIFFFFEEE!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A: Hey everyone, well, as promised, I am back here again writing. I have just stolen Hol – er – I mean, I have just been granted exclusive access to Hollyleaf's phone which means that I can publish the contents of her text inbox and her Facebook page.**

**H: *comes in***

**H: WHERE IS MY PHONE?**

**A: Well Hollyleaf, don't you remember, er, erm – ahem –**

**H: WHY HAVE YOU STOLEN MY PHONE YOU STALKER? IS IT SO YOU CAN STEAL MY IDENTITY AND PRETEND TO BE ME AND TEXT AND FACEBOOK ALL MY CONTACTS?**

**A: Hollyleaf calm down. I'm only going to publish your texts on the Internet, I'm not actually going to text anyone, I have my own phone for that.**

**H: YOU ARE NOT GOING TO PUBLISH MY TEXTS ON THE INTERNET!**

**A: Yes I am. Now the usual disclaimer applies so let us begin! Chapter!**

HOLLYLEAF'S TEXT CONVERSATIONS:

Hollyleaf Lionblaze: hey lionblaze x

(6:54 pm 4 April 2012)

LionblazeHollyleaf hey hollyleaf

(6:55 pm 4 April 2012)

HollyleafLionblaze

wuu2 x

(6:55pm 4 April 2012)

HollyleafLionblaze

wuu2 x

(6:56pm 4 April 2012)

HollyleafLionblaze

wuu2 x

(6:57pm 4 April 2012)

HollyleafLionblaze

wuu2 x

(6:59pm 4 April 2012)

HollyleafLionblaze

ANSWER ME!x

(7:00pm 4 April 2012)

LionblazeHollyleaf

HOLLYLEAF WILL U STOP TXTING ME SAYING WUU2 X!

(7:02pm 4 April 2012)

LionblazeHollyleaf

IF U MUST NO IM ON A SEARCH PARTY LOOKING 4 U! WHERE EVEN R U?

(7:02pm 4 April 2012)

HollyleafLionblaze

london x

(7:03pm 4 April 2012)

LionblazeHollyleaf

WTF?

(7:06pm 4 April 2012)

FirestarHollyleaf

Y R U IN LONDON U IDIOT?

(7:32pm 4 April 2012)

HollyleafFirestar

well i was like feeling really :( xx 3so I decided 2 go 2 london xx 4 some retail therapy xxx also i physically need 2 own the latest fashionable clothes

(7:35pm 4 April 2012)

FirestarHollyleaf

HOLLYLEAF THERE IS MORE 2 LIFE THAN FASHION

grrraaaaahhhh

(7:36pm 4 April 2012)

JayfeatherHollyleaf

IDIOT GOING 2 LONDON & SPENDING THAT MUCH MONEY MADE FIRESTAR PASS OUT WHEN HE HEARD HOW MUCH U SPENT GOT ME YET ANOTHER PATIENT STUPID IDIOT HOLLYLEAF

(10:00am 5 April 2012)

HollyleafJayfeather

i watn !

(11:02am 5 April 2012)

HOLLYLEAF'S FACEBOOK

Holly_leaf333xxxxx!x Status: got gucci shoes in london!x

COMMENTS:

lionz_roar no1 cares hollyleaf

Cinderz!x : OMG U GOT GUCCI SHOES PLZZZZ LET ME TOUCH THEM LATER HOLLYLEAF PLZ XXXXXXXXX!gucci3fashion3

Holly_leaf333xxxxx!x kk x

**A: OK as you can see Hollyleaf texts a lot more than she uses Facebook! Will publish more later today.*gives hollyleaf her phone back***

**H: Oh my God I can't believe that in the story I have a pair of Gucci shoes!**

**A: Yes Hollyleaf in the story you have Gucci shoes have you got a problem with that?**

**PS Can I politely ask that once you have read this story, you review it? Thank you. WARNING: Normally I only politely ask once.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A: Hey everyone, I am back! I am officially on my fourth chapter in two days!**

**Onestar: *comes in***

**O: AND IT'S ABOUT WINDCLAN! INSTEAD OF THUNDERCLAN BECAUSE WE ARE OBVIOUSLY MUCH BETTER!**

**Firestar: *comes in***

**F: WHAT WAS THAT YOU JUST SAID? **

**O: *small voice* Oh, er, nothing, oh mighty Firestar, I was , er, telling everyone, how, er, wonderf –**

**F: *interrupting* SHUT YOUR FACE! HOW DARE YOU INSULT THUNDERCLAN *attacks Onestar***

**F/O: *fighting***

**A: WILL YOU JUST STOP FIGHTING! I HAVE ALREADY WASTED ENOUGH TIME ON YOU,FIRESTAR, TRYING TO GET YOU TO STAY SOBER! Now, are we all sitting comfortably? Then let us begin. Chapter!**

Onestar was sitting outside his den, watching Crowfeather screaming drunkenly in French. Crowfeather was saying ‹_Je voudrais la bièèèèèèèèèèèèrrrrre!›_, which means 'I want beeeeerr!

**H: ! *screaming***

**A: *facepalm* *hitting head against the wall***

Onestar was simultaneously looking at his BlackBerry, waiting for a reply from Ashfoot. Honestly! He had sent her 73 bbms and he STILL hadn't got a reply. She-cats. Onestar thought that Ashfoot was very pretty and he fancied her. That was why he made her his deputy, as opposed to her being a good warrior. He had tried to ask her out, but he quickly had to cancel the attempt when he realised that the sum total of WindClan's finances was £2.99 so he couldn't take her out to the nearest posh restaurant after all….

NEW POV: CROWFEATHER.

Crowfeather was feeling epic. And it wasn't because he had just had his car insurance taken out with Money . **(If you have ever seen the TV advert for Money Supermarket you will get this.)** It was because he had just had loads of beer. He couldn't remember exactly how much alcohol he had had to drink but it was some number. He was randomly screaming in French and when cats asked him what he was doing he said "Your MOTHER!" He couldn't remember how many people's mothers he had shared his nest with but it was quite a lot. Also, he tried to share his nest with Nightcloud but that failed when Crowfeather realised that 'Nightcloud' was actually Breezepelt because they were, like, identical. Breezepelt had run away screaming that Crowfeather was a paedophile and had left Crowfeather wondering how many unborn kits he was now the father of. 20 minutes later, Crowfeather heard the sound of a police car coming into the camp. He staggered towards it making weird noises and he was rather surprised when the police officer arrested him for paedophile offences. Crowfeather ended the night in the local jail awaiting trial. But, he was STILL feeling epic.

**A: That's all you're getting, folks. Oh and by the way, thank you to Hikari Darkness, who has managed to review during the course of today! Seriously, guys, every review counts. So, my feeble attempt at a lecture over, and remember – R&R – read and more importantly, review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**NOTICE**

**Due to them number of reviews that I have been getting about this story that are not just plain rude, but OFFENSIVE, I will be discontinuing this story. I am shocked by the apparent inability of reviewers to actually be polite when they are leaving a bad review. I am also shocked by the fact that in NOT ONE of the reviews has there been a SINGLE SUGGESTION of how I could improve the next time I am writing a fanfic. I do appreciate that some users did actually leave some positive reviews about this story and I do apologise to them for my decision to not carry on with it. However, to use an old British expression, I still have 'a bone to pick' with those who left the bad reviews. I am very offended and upset when, having spent my spare time of TWO OR THREE WEEKS trying to think up the basic idea for this story and having spent considerable time debating with myself over the details, I get reviews saying 'This story is crap', 'This story is stupid' 'You suck' 'You should give up writing permanently'. I know I said that every review counts, but when I said that I meant that every review that either contained praise for the story, and/or suggestions as to what I could do to improve it. Doesn't it say somewhere on that when you review, include some 'constructive criticism'? Not stuff like 'this story is crap', 'this story is stupid'? Also, I take issue with some of the names. 'DELETEITNOW' is a stupid name. 'darkfur1hater', that is actually not only a stupid name to call yourself, not only is it offensive, but I do believe that calling yourself such a name is cyberbullying, which is ILLEGAL. I would advise you never to call yourself 'someonehater' or anything related to that again.**

**PS: Once again, I am very sorry to the people that actually liked my story and if by any chance I get enough reviews after this asking me to continue with the story, then I will. However, looking at the number of bad reviews that I got, I don't think that's very likely, somehow…..**

**darkfur1**


	6. Chapter 6

**A: Well, this story is one lucky story. It was saved from the depths of being eternally deleted by chocolate, some 'calm down' advice, some thinking and some reviews imploring me to continue. Sorry about the long author's note that formed the entirety of the last chapter, but I was in quite a state.**

**Onestar: *randomly comes in***

**O: Cheese!**

**O: *randomly goes out***

**A:OK, that was random…..**

**Crowfeather:*comes in***

**C: Yay! The story's back!**

**A:Crowfeather, firstly, why are you in my h – er –Twoleg nest, and secondly, since you are meant to be in jail in West Virginia in the United States of America pending the result of your appeal against your conviction for theft, why are you therefore in Kent, England, Britain?**

**C: BECAUSE QUITE FRANKLY I DON'T CARE WHAT I DID THAT NIGHT THAT WAS AGAINST THE F****** LAW AND I JUST WANT TO GET ON WITH MY F******* LIFE IN MY F******* CLAN!**

**A: Crowfeather, can I see what is on the label of that bottle that you're holding? *reading* 'Finest Russian vodka mixed with finest English gin. Alcohol content:41%' *sighs* why do I bother? That will be why he was shouting. WHERE on EARTH did you get THIS, Crowfeather?**

**C: OH SO NOW YOU'RE BULLYING ME OVER WHERE I GET MY F****** DRINK? IT WAS JUST SOME RANDOM TWOLEG THING I PICKED UP AND FRANKLY I DON'T GIVE A F****** S*** WHERE THIS F****** DRINK F******CAME FROM! S***! I HATE MY LIFE! MY LIFE IS S***! *crying**

**A:Crowfeather! Regulate your LANGUAGE, please! God, you're gonna get me some SERIOUSLY bad reviews if this continues. I'm going to have to up the rating of this story to T. Anyway, sorry about the long author's note. Blame Crowfeather when he comes out of prison. Here, finally, is your chapter!**

Firestar sighed. It was the Gathering that night and, for once, he had absolutely no idea what he was going to say. Well, there was nothing to report. He had worked so hard trying to get his Clanmates off Facebook/their mobile phones/computers in general and onto the patrol that he had collapsed from overwork and he had had to spend a whole week in Jayfeather's den, while Greystripe took over the leadership of the Clan. Correction, while Greystripe spent most of the week texting/e-mailing/Facebooking and spent the other roughly, er, 5 per cent of the week giving orders. And they weren't even sensible orders. And just when he had managed to venture out of Jayfeather's den, he had seen Hollyleaf's phone bill and he had to spend three more days in there. Oh God, it was ten o'clock already. That meant Gathering time. "Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather beneath the Highledge for a Clan meeting" . After roughly thirty seconds, Foxleap and Icecloud came over to the Highledge while they were texting each other, both of them unaware of the other's presence. "Let all cats gather beneath the Highledge for a Clan meeting!" No response. "GET OVER HERE YOU MOUSE-BRAINED LOT OTHERWISE I WILL BAN MOBILE PHONES COMPLETELY AND ANYONE FOUND IN CAMP WITH A MOBILE PHONE WILL BE SHOT!" It was surprising how many cats came over to the Highledge when he said that. "NOW, IF YOU LOT HAVE BOTHERED TO - LONGTAIL, STOP TEXTING FOR STARCLAN'S SAKE! NOW, IF YOU LOT HAD BOTHERED TO LOOK UP FROM YOUR MOBILES IN THE LAST 5 HOURS THEN YOU WOULD HAVE REALISED THAT THE GATHERING IS TONIGHT! YES, THE GATHERING! YOU REMEMBER WHAT A GATHERING IS, YOU STUPID TECHNOLOGY-OHOLIC LOT? WELL, I HAVE DECIDED THAT YOU WILL ALL BE GOING! I CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO SELECT A SPECIAL PARTY OF WARRIORS TO GO AND ACCORDING TO MY E-MAILS THEN YOU WILL FIND THAT NONE OF THE OTHER LEADERS CAN BE BOTHERED EITHER!"

There was a silence after Firestar's outburst. Then Greystripe, who was staring at Firestar like a hypnotised rabbit, said "Wowww. Take a chill pill man!"

AT THE GATHERING

Firestar sighed.. Again. All his warriors were texting and/or Facebooking their friends in other Clans with a live stream of what was happening at the Gathering, which wasn't much as ThunderClan were the only Clan there. It turned out that Blackstar had hacked into the other 3 leaders' e-mail accounts. So Firestar got an e-mail saying that the whole of all the other clans would be coming, Onestar got an e-mail saying that it was now illegal for cats to speak any language other than Mandarin Chinese and Leopardstar got an e-mail saying that a socialist revolution was starting within RiverClan and that she would shortly be overthrown and replaced with a dictatorship of the proletariat. She was informed that this had already happened to the leaders of the other Clans and that Gatherings had been abolished and it had taken a lot of persuasion for Firestar to persuade her that he was in fact Firestar and not an impostor. This had also caused his phone bill to go up by a very significant amount of money… (**I will not say how much because the news needs to be broken to Firestar very gently. If it was not broken very gently to him then he would probably…. well, I don't know). **So in short Firestar/Onestar/Leopardstar ended up looking like idiots and Blackstar ended up appearing before the local magistrates' court on charges of computer hacking….. and he lost the case. At least he won't be bothering anyone for a while.

**A: Well, I don't know how I got through writing that. Ph….. oh God….**

***letter saying TO FIRESTAR on the envelope arrives through the letterbox**

**Firestar:*opens letter* *reading letter***

**Orange Phone Bill**

**(Note: Orange is a major British phone company and it happens to be the one that Firestar is with, on a pay as you go account)**

**Here's what you spent… **

**Mobile Phone: £2, 009,878.65**

**And here's how you spent it…**

**E-mails £2,009,777.18**

**Texts £99.65**

**Internet £1.81**

**Firestar: *spazzing* Ehhhhhhhhh! E-rrrrrarrrrrk! THE END OF THE WORLD IS NIGH! SAVE MCDONALD'S CHEESEBURGERS! BURN MOBILE PHONE BILLS! *has a cardiac arrest***


	7. Chapter 7

**A: Sorry for the long wait everyone, but over the last week I have been really tired so I kept forgetting to update… I also locked Hollyleaf in a random cupboard in my house so she can't bother me while I'm writing. I don't think it's been this quiet in here for a long time. Anyway, to remind you of the disclaimer: I do not own Warriors, and/or any other names/brands that may be mentioned and/or play a part in this story and any other stories that may follow it. Thank you. Let us begin.**

Firestar looked at his Clan, sighing as he did so. At lest the situation was a little bit better. Only three-quarters of them were on their mobile phones as opposed to the whole Clan, and he had actually been able to have a normal conversation with Greystripe that morning. Well, normal in the sense that they were both talking, as opposed to Firestar talking and Greystripe looking up from his iPod touch ooccasionally and grunting. Firestar was beginning to feel some of the Clan's old character coming back. Suddenly, he heard the sound of paws pounding hard against the ground. The sound of panting. No. Not now. Not another ShadowClan attack just when he didn't need it. Brambleclaw burst into the camp. He was alone, which Firestar thought was rather odd. Then, Brambleclaw started yowling. "I NEED COKE! I – NEED – COKE!" Firestar paused for a minute, then wearily started attempting to calm Brambleclaw down. "There, there, Brambleclaw. The thing is, we don - ". He stopped mid-sentence. Brambleclaw had vanished. He started following Brambleclaw's scent, until he found Brambleclaw behind the warriors' den, guzzling can after can of Coca-Cola. "Brambleclaw, please would you st - " "NO! GET AWAY FROM ME! I NEED THIS!" "Brambleclaw, can I ask - " "NO!" "BRAMBLECLAW! THROW THAT DISGUSTING DRINK AWAY NOW OR I WILL THROW IT AWAY MYSELF!" Firestar started tipping Coca-Cola into the bin frantically. When he had finished, he clawed Brambleclaw on the ear. "Now let that teach you not to drink disguting Twoleg drinks again!" He shouted at Brambleclaw, who was now wailing hysterically. Then, Firestar heard a smashing noise, then the sound of a cat in hysterics. Correction, ANOTHER cat in hysterics. He ran towards the gorge. OK, it was WindClan territory, but Firestar was living dangerously and frankly he didn't care. He found Lionblaze, crying, surrounded by zillions of minute shards of glass and plastic. He sighed. "Lionblaze, can I ask what the hell has happened here?" Lionblaze managed to force out the words "I - dropped - my – ph – phone and i – i – i – it broke! WAAAAAH – HAAAAAAH-HAAAAAAAH!" Firestar had had enough. "GOOD! I HOPE YOU NEVER GET ANOTHER ONE! NOW YOU'LL BE ABLE TO GET OFF YOUR BACKSIDE AND DO SOME WORK, YOU STINGY LITTLE EXCUSE FOR A CAT!" he shouted at Lionblaze, Lionblaze just cried even louder and started sniffling into one of Hollyleaf's pink Barbie tissues that she had randomly given him while she was drunk. Firestar sighed. And he had been brave enough to call this day nearly normal? He wanted to just go to his nest and pretend that today had never happened.

**Hollyleaf: REVOLUTION!**

**A: I think that being in the cupboard for a week has done something to Hollyleaf. Anyway, due to school I can confirm that my next update will be a bit shorter and will probably go online about 5:30 to 7:30 pm(UK time) on Wednesday. That is, if I don't have homework / 'forgotten' holiday work / exam revision to do.**

**H: *starts randomly samba dancing***


	8. Chapter 8

**A: Well, here I am. I have just enough energy to write, after having managed to prise myself away from my box of chocolate(candy). Chocoholics(candy addicts) will know what it's like, trying to stop eating after you already had seven chocolates in the space of five minutes. God this is taking me a long time to write, probably because I am trying to have a Skype conversation at the same time. Now, back to business. Whoever it was that reviewed saying how I'm not meant to put only author's notes in chapters, I'm very sorry but I've forgotten your name, but anyway thank you for telling me about that, I didn't know about that rule. Also, thank you for telling me about how I could space paragraphs more. I will try to do that in future. Maybe imagining that my English teacher is staring over my shoulder might help. And good news, for me at least, Hollyleaf randomly tried to hijack a plane and tried to force it to fly to Brazil, so she has now been arrested so she can't bother me any longer. Whoops, I just gave something away about this next chapter. Anyway, sorry for the long author's note(I had lots to say!) and let's begin.**

HOLLYLEAF'S FACEBOOK ACTIVITY FOR TUESDAY, 17 APRIL 2012

Holly_love!xx(status) omg what i am gonna do, i am gonna get a random plane and i am gonna get it to fly to brazil!x

COMMENTS

lionzroar: hollyleaf that is HIJACKING u gonna get arrested by those weird twolegs they call the police

cinderz!x: 3

Holly_love!xx i dont care they can do whatever they like 2 me & i will be FOREVER FREEEE xxxxxx I LOVE EVERY1

lionzroar: oh dear she had too much caffeine AGAIN

firestarthemighty: lol

Holly_love!xx is at Gatwick Airport, England

Holly_love!xx(status) LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVE! I AM SO COOL!xxx

1 COMMENT:

lionzroar: HOLLYLEAF U IDIOT COME HOME NOW

Holly_love!xx(status): I NEED COCA-COLA! I PHYSICALLY CANNOT CONTINUE LIVING WITHOUT COCA-COLA!

Holly_love!xx(status): I AM ON THAT PLANE BABEZZZZ AND THE PILOTS R COWERING LIKE THE B***** THEY R!xx F*** U ALL!x

LEGAL NOTICE:

THIS FACEBOOK PAGE HAS BEEN SUSPENDED PENDING THE RESULTS OF THE TRIAL OF ITS FORMER USER, MISS HOLLYLEAF, WHO WAS ARRESTED TODAY ON A CHARGE OF ILLEGALLY TAKING CONTROL OF AN ÆROPLANE.

END OF NOTICE

**Well, that was an experiment, so let me know if you like that and if you want more of this kind of thing. I will update as soon as I can!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A: Well, sorry about the long wait. Like I said at the beginning of Chapter Six, well, this is one heck of a lucky story. Hollyleaf was convicted of hijacking an aeroplane but very unfortunately she got off with one month in prison so we are blessed with her company once more. **

**H:*comes in**speaks in slurred voice* I need Coke. You got Coke? GIVE MEH COKE! BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHH !*collapses***

**A: Anyway, the usual disclaimer applies. For this chapter I had absolutely no ideas so it is very random. Please read, and, not more or less important, PLEASE... REVIEW!**

Firestar sighed in anticipation at the long wait which he now faced. The long wait for his best friend, Greystripe, to stop texting every single cat in every single Clan and actually respond to the question that Firestar had posed. Which was "Greystripe can you look after the Clan for half an hour while I do a spot of hunting?". Firestar decided to give up. He looked round his pathetic Clan. Squirrelflight was screeching because she was so engrossed at the eBay auction she was currently taking part in. Jayfeather had not noticed that that there were 3 cats outside the medicine den, all with repetitive strain injury to the paw, from doing guess what, because he was playing video games on his Xbox 360 that he had bought with £100.97 of precious Clan money. The rest of the Clan were either texting, e-mailing or facebooking their friends. Firestar sighed. But then a new wave of thought rolled over him. It said "Live dangerously!" Then So Firestar did.

3 days later... Firestar looked at his eBay account as joy overcame him and he commenced prancing round his den. Yes! He was winning his bid! A pair of old, worn, Twoleg gardening gloves for which he had absolutely and completely and utterly no use whatsoever, was nearly his for only £31,010.01! Oh, no, £31,010.81... £31,020.81... yes!yes! He finally had it! Yay!. Then, Firestar crashed into something warm, furry and orange which was now swearing very loudly at him. It was Sandstorm. She was holding the remains of her phone. There was glass everywhere. "What the F***? YOU F****** LITTLE M************ SON OF A F****** S*** B**** B****! HOW DARE YOU BREAK MY F****** MOBILE PHONE! OH MY GOD! I AM UNABLE TO CONTINUE LIVING!" She smashed his computer and then she smashed his BlackBerry. Then he heard a thud followed by a lot of pain to his head, then nothing...

**Well. One angry pussy.**


End file.
